Finding A Proverbs Man

At my church, my young adults Bible study group just finished a study in Proverbs. We delved into His word and started to discover some Biblical characteristics to be looking for in a future husband and, consequently, what characteristics to avoid as well.

I really enjoyed this study for multiple reasons. One is that when I was growing up and attended purity conferences, I was encouraged to have a list of qualities I wanted in a future husband.

My young and girlish qualities included him being a tall, dark, and handsome {blue eyed} young man who would love me with all his heart.

Yeah sure, I wanted a Christian guy who put God at the center of his life and also in our relationship. And while hoping for some nice physical attributes are not inherently bad things to desire in a future mate, this recent Proverbs study opened my eyes to see what my younger self did not; centering mostly on the physical attributes of a guy is not what is gonna get you a God-honoring man.

I wanted to share what I learned throughout the study. I’m hoping to make two parts out of my notes. Part 1 being Finding A Proverbs Man and Part 2 would be Being A Proverbs Woman.

So, what characteristics does the author of Proverbs tell us to be looking for in a Godly man? {All Bible verses are taken from the NKJV}

  • He will be a man who understands and pursues wisdom and does not despise it
    “To know wisdom and instruction, to perceive the words of understanding, to receive the instruction of wisdom, justice, judgment, and equity; to give prudence to the simple, to the young man knowledge and discretion…”
    ~ Proverbs 1:1-4

    “My son, if you receive my words, and treasure my commands within you, so that you incline your ear to wisdom, and apply your heart to understanding, yes if you cry out for discernment, and lift up your voice for understanding, if you seek her like silver and search for her like hidden treasures; then you will understand the fear of the LORD, and find the knowledge of God. For the LORD gives wisdom; from his mouth come knowledge and understanding.”
    ~ Proverbs 2:1-6
  • He will be a man who is willing to receive instruction, not forsake wise teaching
    A wise man will hear and increase in learning, and a man of understanding will attain wise counsel to understand a proverb and an enigma, the words of the wise and their riddles.”     ~ Proverbs 1:5,6
  • He will fear God
    “The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and instruction.” ~ Proverbs 1:7
  • He will listen to his parent’s teachings
    “My son, hear the instruction of your father, and do not forsake the law of your mother; for they will be a graceful ornament on your head, and chains around your neck”
    ~ Proverbs 1: 8,9
  • He will resist evil
    “My son, if sinners entice you, do not consent.” ~ Proverbs 1:10
  • He will refuse to follow sinners
    “My son, do not walk in the way with them, keep your foot  from their path; for their feet run to evil, and they haste to shed blood.” ~ Proverbs 1:15,16
  • He will resist temptations from worldly people and pleasure and will not walk with the wicked
    “When wisdom enters your heart, and knowledge is pleasant to your soul, discretion will preserve you; understanding will keep you, to deliver you from the way of evil, from the man who speaks perverse things, from those who leave the paths of uprightness to walk in the ways of darkness; who rejoice in doing evil and delight in the perversity of the wicked; whose ways are crooked, and who are devious in their paths.” ~ Proverbs 2: 10-15“Do not enter the path of the wicked, and do not walk in the way of evil. Avoid it, do not travel on it; turn away from it and pass on.” ~ Proverbs 4:14,15
  • He will not fall prey to the immoral woman
    “To deliver yourself from the immoral woman, from the seductress who flatters with her words.” ~ Proverbs 2:16
  • He will not forsake his Heavenly and earthly father’s commands
    “My son, do not forget my law, but let your heart keep my commands; for length of days and long life and peace they will add to you.” ~ Proverbs 3:1,2
  • He will be merciful and truthful
    “Let not mercy and truth forsake you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart…” ~ Proverbs 3:3
  • He will trust, rely on, and acknowledge God
    “Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct your paths.” ~ Proverbs 3:5,6
  • He will honor God with his finances
    “Honor the LORD with your possessions, and with the first fruits of all your increase; so your barns will be filled with plenty, and your vats will overflow with the new wine.
    ~ Proverbs 3:9,10
  • He will guard his heart and not lie
    “Keep your heart with all diligence, for out of it spring the issues of life. Put away from you a deceitful mouth and put perverse lips far from you. ~ Proverbs 4:23,24
  • He won’t be familiar with evil women
    “My son, pay attention to my wisdom; lend your ear to my understanding that you may preserve discretion, and your lips may keep knowledge. From the lips of an immoral woman drip honey and her mouth is smoother than oil; but in the end she is bitter as wormwood, sharp as a two-edged sword. Her feet go down to death, her steps lay hold of hell. Lest you ponder her path of life – her ways are unstable; you do not know them. …Remove your way far from her, and do not go near the door of her house… ~ Proverbs 5:1-6,8
  • He will save sex for his {future} wife and delight in having sex with her
    “Drink water from your own cistern, and running water from your own well. Should your foundations be dispersed abroad, streams of water in the streets? Let them be only your own, and not for strangers with you. Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice in the wife of your youth. As a loving deer and a graceful doe; let her breasts satisfy you at all times and always be enraptured by her love. For why should you, my son, be enraptured by an immoral woman, and be embraced in the arms of a seductress?” ~ Proverbs 5:15-20
  • He will resist the woman who uses her beauty for evil and flatters with her words
    “For the commandment is a lamp, and the law a light; reproofs of instruction are the way of life. To keep you from the evil woman, from the flattering tongue of a seductress. Do not lust after her beauty in your heart, nor let her allure you with her eyelids. For by means of a harlot a man is reduced to a crust of bread; and an adulteress will prey upon his precious life. Can a man take fire to his bosom, and his clothes not be burned? Can one walk on hot coals and his feet not be seared? So is he who goes in to his neighbor’s wife; whoever touches her shall not be innocent.” ~ Proverbs 6:23-29
  • He will be diligent
    “The lazy man does not roast what he took in hunting, but diligence is man’s precious possession.”~ Proverbs 12:27
  • He will be discerning, turn from evil, and cautious
    “The simple believes every word, but the prudent considers well his steps. A wise man fears and departs from evil, but a fool rages and is self confident. A quick tempered man acts foolishly, and a man of wicked intentions is hated. The simple inherit folly, but the prudent are crowned with knowledge.” ~ Proverbs 14:15-18
  • He will be slow to anger and a peacemaker
    “A wrathful man stirs up strife, but he who is slow to anger allays {puts to rest} contention.”
    ~ Proverbs 15: 18
  • He is friendly to acquaintances and has close, even tempered friends who aren’t drunkards or gluttons
    “A man who has friends must himself be friendly, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.” ~ Proverbs 18:24“Make no friendship with an angry man, and with a furious man do not go, lest you learn his ways and set a snare for your soul.” ~ Proverbs 22:24,25
    “Do not mix with winebibbers or with gluttonous eaters of meat; for the drunkard and the glutton will come to poverty, and drowsiness will clothe a man with rags.”
    ~ Proverbs 23:20,21
  • His choices will reveal who he is
    “As in water face reflects face, so a man’s heart reveals the man.” ~ Proverbs 27:19
  • He will not envy sinners but be zealous for the Lord
    “Do not let your heart envy sinners, but be zealous for the fear of the LORD all the day; for surely there is a hereafter, and your hope will not be cut off.” ~ Proverbs 23:17,18
  • He controls his tongue and holds back hurtful words
    ” A fool vents all his feelings, but a wise man holds them back.” ~ Proverbs 29:11
  • His focus is not on chasing women
    “Do not give your strength to women, nor your ways to that which destroys kings.”
    ~ Proverbs 31:3
  • He will not take part in strong drink
    “It is not for kings, O Lemuel, it is not for kings to drink wine, nor for princes intoxicating drink; lest they drink and forget the law and pervert the justice of all the afflicted. Give strong drink to him who is perishing and wine to those who are bitter of heart. Let him drink and forget his poverty and remember his misery no more.” ~ Proverbs 31:4-7
  • He will be the defender and protector of the weak and will judge righteously
    “Open your mouth for the speechless, in the cause of all who are appointed to die. Open your mouth, judge righteously, and plead the cause of the poor and needy.” ~ Proverbs 31:8,9

You might be feeling a smidge overwhelmed. {So was I!} Where in the world do we find men who fit God’s expectations and ours? It seems like a daunting task searching and waiting for a man who will meet these requirements. And while all these attributes are important, not every man will fulfill them perfectly. If he did, there’d be no reason for him to trust in Christ’s strength to guide him throughout life’s curveballs.

Cause let’s face it. King Solomon gives guys lots of scenarios where he explains what NOT to do and tells them what they should be doing instead! Many have to do with women, friends, and drinking (<- that’s a whole other conversation!). I love it that Solomon doesn’t simply say what guys are not supposed to do and leave them guessing as to what the correct course of action is. He gives them practical advice and wisdom to help them resist the temptations of life.

I am grateful Solomon took the time to write to his sons, and every other male for that matter, and explain what a God fearing guy looks like. And the neat thing about all these character traits is you can flip them around and know exactly what an ungodly man looks like.

While I didn’t add all of the traits and their corresponding verses from my notes (there is a lot of repetition), I encourage you to do a study through Proverbs on your own. Look and see what God says about men who are molded after His own heart.

I don’t know where God has these wonderful men tucked away, but I do know they are out there. Its part of the journey for us ladies to be seeking out Christ, who is our standard of godliness, and entrusting Him to bring into our lives our very own Proverbs man.


About natmott95

I'm a young woman who is discovering life and all the joys and sorrows that come with it. I invite you to come along on my journey and grow with me as I struggle through issues I'm dealing with, search out the truth of matters, and start to understand the way my heart works. Come on my journey and share with me the experience that its through the Lord's grace that I am able to live this life.
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