After taking a little over a month off from writing, I’m happy that I’m back at it. I think the break was just what I needed to gain some perspective on my life. Since my mom’s death, it has seemed like one thing after another has hit my family in waves and I’ll admit it, I was angry that it was happening and I wasn’t responding in the right way. I apologize for that.
During that time, I was not walking daily with the Lord nor seeking His guidance as to what was going on in my life. I couldn’t understand why this was happening to my family and I took out my frustration in my blog. Several people who care deeply about me pointed out to me that what I was doing wasn’t the proper way to handle the stress and turmoil. While I didn’t like that they were right, I also didn’t like how I was behaving and that is why I decided to take a break from blogging.
Because I was not consistently in the Word of God over the past year, it seemed to me that every waking moment was off; nothing was happening as it was supposed to. I had no desire to be in the Word or to pray. Church had become some place to see friends and catch up on the week. I didn’t like that this is the type of Christian I had become. So I decided I would seek counseling from a lovely lady at my church. I wanted someone who could help me walk through and understand the emotions I was experiencing, give me advice on what was going on in my family, and just be the older woman who taught the younger woman like in 1 Tim for me. I have been so blessed to have her counsel, encouragement, and challenges over the past couple of months. It has meant so much to me to have her quietly listen to me ramble, cry with me, or laugh with me. God has been using our meetings to work in my heart and awaken me to the fact that I need a more consistent quiet time with Him, to actively pray more, and to be more open to how He is working through others and in my heart.
I am so thankful for where I am in life, right at this moment. Even though my family and I are coming up on the first anniversary of my mom’s death this next week, I know that God is with me. I know that I can run to Him, for He is my place of true comfort. This second year is one I feel confident that God will grow and stretch me even more so. I’m excited to see how He will work in my heart to change it and make me more like Christ. I would like to invite you to join me as I walk through the next day, week, month, and year through His grace. 🙂