Today has been rough, to say the least.
I knew as I opened my eyes this morning as my alarm clock went off that today was going to be different. More somber and tearful than most.
You see, a year ago today, my Mom stepped over the threshold of Heaven and beheld her beloved Prince of Peace. No longer was her body tormented by the years of painful disease that snaked it’s way from her tissues into her bones and organs. No longer was she bound to a sin filled life. She was freed to worship her Creator and King for all eternity. Her voice was used that day to sing His praises like she’d do when we listened to worship music at home.
So yes, today was rough.
But I have been blessed immeasurably today by the friends who reached out to me, sharing some memories of my mom or just simply telling me they are still praying for me or letting me come hang out at their house when I really didn’t want to be home and alone with my tears.
God works in mysterious ways. I will never know why He chose to allow my mom to get cancer or why He did not heal her like I prayed for daily. But I know through this past year (by far the most trying year emotionally, physically, and spiritually that I’ve ever faced), I have had to grow I ways I could never have imagined before. I know that even though the tears still come and I still cry when I think of all that is yet to come and how my mom won’t be there to share it with me, I know that His plan is good.
Whatever I face, I know two things: 1) God is using whatever it is for my good in order to make me more like Christ and 2) He will never leave me nor forsake me. Even when it feels like I am walking alone, I can know and rely upon the those two facts.
So…Even though I miss my mom so much and my heart aches to hear her voice again and to kiss her forehead goodnight one last time, I know she is in a much better place and she would not come back for the world. Who could begrudge someone that?
I love you Mom… 05/11/2016